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if u follow me and u wish I would CW something I don't, DM me :)

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professionally, still 'AAAAAAAAAA'

personally, pretty decent

physically, holy fuck i had no idea going from sedentary to UBER SEDENTARY would suck this much


If your Microsoft Almond is not activated or not genuine, please contact Microsoft Almond Activation at a number local to you. A list of numbers can be found at

@monorail @hierarchon @BestGirlGrace concept: a method called nosleep that doesn't sleep ur thread, instead it dumps a short horror story to ur console. u can pass a number argument but it has no apparent bearing on the method behavior

All the efforts of critical-tech artists to demystify 'the cloud' and counter the narrative that tech is magic... unnecessary.
Turns out data centres in Taiwan require a certain brand of crisps to magically keep them running.
RT @Arlieth
We might think our servers and black boxes run on some weird fucking magic shit but we got nothing on Taiwanese Kuai Kuai (δΉ–δΉ–) reliability engineering rituals.

definitely my favorite bible thing i learned recently is that none of the gospels actually specify how many wise men visit jesus, just that they brought three gifts. in catholicism it is therefore assumed that there were three wise men, but orthodox christians assume twelve, but who knows. maybe it was 69 magi. just hangin out. world magi convention 4BC

any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is catch 5 bugs , chop 10 wood , redeem 500 nook miles & sell a hot item for a fortune

happy may day! today we celebrate the worker, mary the mother, walpurga, and beltane. love, spring, life, and organized resistance!

I have told this story before but I think of it every time I see a green anole lizard, there was a guy in my freshman geometry class who, at the start of lectures, would uncap a small pepsi bottle and hold it near his shoulder, releasing a green anole. the guy would immediately put his head down and sleep and the anole would sit on his shoulder looking alert towards the front of the class. this guy aced every test and we attributed it to the lizard taking really good notes

teaching my race of human-animal monster hybrids that the only thing that separates us from the beasts is cleaning the dishes out of our room periodically

trying to turn the crows into socialists by reading das kapital to them, but they just want bread. when will they organize to overthrow *checks notes* barry the crow who always eats first and insists on the highest perch?

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Fact 1: Houdini was the greatest escape artist the world has ever known
Fact 2: Houdini died of peritonitis
Fact 3: I have just survived peritonitis
Fact 4: I have escaped what Houdini could not
Conclusion: I am the greatest escape artist the world has ever known.

reading ifixit's teardown of the switch lite and they called the main motherboard of the console a "silicon capybara" and linked to this picture of a capy

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Conventicle of the Lesser Occult Institute

The Conventicle of the Lesser Occult Institute